I Understand Icarus

I wrote a poem about what it was like to miss seeing the sun when I was institutionalized.

I understand icarus

It's only been a week

Only a week I've learned how much you can

Miss the sun

The only windows they allow

are tinted and shaded

Sometimes we get to walk past the hall

Where they trapped a tree inside this hospital

Supposedly it's supposed to be for the patients

But I've never seen anyone allowed there

It just makes me sad that we're not the

Only ones trapped here

I understand icarus

They finally let us go outside today

And the minute I step outside

I finally remember there is a world

Beyond this prison

Maybe that's why they never want to let us out

I understand icarus

I'm so tempted to try and be free

It wouldn't last long

But maybe I'll at least know I tried

Just one moment of freedom would be worth the punishment I think

But they said I'm almost free

They're so close to deciding I can go home

That's what they keep telling me at least

Yet somehow I'm still here

I understand icarus

I never want to leave the sun again

I'd reach as close to it as I could

But the time went by too fast

And I have to say goodbye to the sun and world Again

The knowledge hits harder now that

i Know what im missing

I miss the sun again already

I understand icarus

I'll never again take my freedom

To see the sun for granted

I'll savor every moment i get

For I understand how devastating its loss is

Please just let me see the sun again

I understand icarus

The constant bright fluorescent hospital lights

Have become my sun now

The only consistent thing I can rely on is that

The lights are Always on

Circadiam rhythms were overrated anyways

Not sleeping has made this place

Much more bearable at least

Maybe one day I'll reach high enough

To touch the fluorescent sun